IBé
Maybe it’s because my own mother is losing her mind to the same wicked disease, but I just read a story about an old lady that just broke my heart.
As the story goes, back in 1994, a mute elderly woman was found wondering a mall in New Jersey. When the police picked her up, she didn’t have any identification on her person, and in addition to being mute, she was found to be suffering from Alzheimer’s disease. For 15 years all attempts to identify her returned nothing. Not fingerprinting, not police investigation, not photo circulation…nothing could yield her identity. So where would you suppose she was kept for all 15 years? Not in a nursing home, as you would suspect counting her condition. The poor sick old lady (always well dressed according to witnesses) was sent to live in a psychiatric hospital. Yes, that is right, among mentally diseased individuals. Don’t get me wrong, Alzheimer is also a mental disease, but there is a difference between it and psychotic. (more…)
On Friday evening, my adventures in single dad-dom came to an end, right on schedule. And that right there is one of the most humbling lessons I have learned in this little experiment of mine. I guess that is the difference between an adventure and life. No matter how hard some of the days were, I knew the end, if not quite in sight, was looming not far behind; I could tell myself to hang in there, because when this day ends, it would be one less to go.
Unfortunately, that is a luxury most single-parents don’t have. When they are sick or tired, down and under, yesterday and today, they still plow through the day knowing tomorrow life continues. It can either be paralyzing or motivating. (more…)
I knew this week was going to come. Maybe not exactly as it did, but I knew the honeymoon was going to be over. One way or the other.
Last week I thought I would take the kids up north to St. Cloud to visit my sister and her family, but more importantly, with more adults in house, I could get a much needed break.
My hopes were a little dashed when I was told I had to pick up a cousin (a four year old girl) on my way. But I still kept hope alive. Three adults to four children is still better than lonely old me to two of them. (more…)
I use to be a party animal. I was never the drinking kind, but man, I loved the club scene. I started going before I was barely in my teens. That was back in Koindu, Sierra Leone. At Disco J you couldn’t tell us we were not Michael Jackson, Bobby Brown and George Michael all wrapped in one. When I came to America, I took a break in Chicago, but quickly found my steps going to school in St. Cloud. Before 21, I brought the party home. Long story short, I got kicked out of quite a few apartments.
Now I don’t know the last time I stepped inside a club. My motto was “never in bed in the pm, never up in the am.” These days by the time noon rolls around I have a day’s worth bagged with two more to go. I better be in bed by midnight. (more…)
This may be stating the abvious. But sometimes even the obvious takes time to sink in. So today, I’m watching teevee–Another 48th Hours of betrayal leads to murder– when the bloody scene blacks out to the 10 O’clock News. My teevee lights up! My family room fills with the sound of happy children and I wondered why. I looked up at my television set and saw sun beaming on glistening snow-packed earth under the feet of children at play. The sheer joy that came from these people was extraordinary. The announcers, the parents, the children…it was as if right outside my door gold flakes had fallen from the sky. And the camera was right there to capture it, and tonight pour it in my family room in all its bounty.
Maybe it was how it contrasted from the scene before, but man, I felt my teevee come alive! All because of the weather. Because the temperature had peaked to almost 40 degrees Fahrenheit. Just few degrees above freezing!
That’s when it hit me: the weather is really a culture in this place!
Like I said, it’s stating the obvious. But then I thought about the weather back home in Guinea and Sierra Leone, and realized there was nothing to think about. All I know about the weather in those countries I learned after coming to America. It’s like the weather doesn’t exist in those parts of the world. During the rainy reason, it rains sometimes; it’s dry sometimes. During the dry season, it’s dry sometimes; it rains sometimes. And rain in and rain out, every morning we wake up knowing with almost certainty the day ahead will not just be sibling with the one before, but twins. Who needs thermometers.
If I made any sense in this posting, I hope it’s the simple recognition that to be an immigrant is to reconcile two sometimes drastically different places. And sometimes that difference is something as universal as the weather. Because you see, I understood perfectly well how the people on my teeve felt. When I stepped outside today, I felt the same way. But unlike them, in my blood, another expereince runs deep.
IBé
I’m an African man. Hold on, scratch that. I’m a Guinean man. No, even that involves some generalizations I’m not comfortable making. I’m a Maninka man, a Maninka father. I have been in America for more than half my life, but I am a Maninka at my core. This fact defines many things I am.
When I was growing up, and as far as I know today, in our culture, child rearing (at least the daily chores associated with this) are entirely the task of our mothers. Fathers are responsible for going out and getting the bread. The mothers take care of baking it, feeding it to the children, and taking care of the rest. Never in my entire life growing up did I see a Maninka father put pants on a baby, let alone change diaper. Fathers don’t know whether food is cooked with wood or charcoal. Needless to say, first giggles and first steps happen entirely in their absence. (more…)
Okay, maybe I’m hating. But I just have to say this and see what others feel about it. I AM GETTING HELLA SICK of all this Obama/Abraham Lincoln comparisons. Yesterday, they were talking about Obama’s first meal as president sharing some dishes with Lincoln’s. And today, to put into perspective how special the inauguration is going to be, the best Spike Lee could come up with is the fact that Obama is going to be swearing on “the same Bible Abraham Lincoln did”. I mean, duh! Other presidents did too. Your point? (more…)
It’s the idealist in me. I recycle. At least I try every opportunity I get. Give me an empty bottle, and I’m looking for a recycling bin. Yes, I drive a truck (for practical reasons, I like to think). But, I walk whenever possible. I sincerely think cheap gas is not the solution. No gas is where we need to be. So I walk. Whenever possible, I take the train. I take the bus, I ride my bike, I turn off lights; I use the same thing over and over until I can’t use it anymore; I even have my own ceramic cup at work from which I drink my tea. I’m seriously thinking about having my own reusable plate and utensil.
I believe everything about conservation. In my heart, I’m as green as a tropical leave. But in my mind, I know even my best effort will fail at the end. (more…)
Okay, today I’m writing like I got A.D.D. First I was writing about the future of life here on earth. (Yeah, I know, what the heck!), then Bob Marley pulled my attention to another piece. And just as I move to my third paragraph on that, I got a phone call from someone telling me she got my number from some lady I did some Obama campaign event with. I did a lot of Obama campaign events with a lot of people. Needless to say, I have no idea who she is talking about. But I encouraged her to go ahead. She started first by telling me she used to work as a nurse, and now she is doing that only on an on-call basis. Why? Because she has this home business that is making her a bundle! And by the way, it is endorsed by Donald Trump! I was like oh, oh, I heard this before. Matter of fact, I heard this just last night. But I let her continue. (more…)
Hey folks! Besides letting my worldview be known in prose and poems, I work for the Greater Twin Cities United Way. And one of the added bonus of my job is having a bird-eye view of some of our community’s most pressing needs. And believe me, it’s getting to be very TIGHT out there. If you are one of the lucky people with still a job and few dollars in your pocket, I know you’ve thought about helping others not so fortunate, but alas you thought the problem is too big for your small hands. Well think again, not so. This morning I logged into our Intranet and came across this video/campaign, and I just thought I would share it with one and all. I hope you consider it. All it takes is $5 and you can help someone in need weather the storm.
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IBé
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